CRAZY FOR CINEMA

LATEST REVIEW

You may be wondering why I don't review all of the current releases. Well, for 3 very good reasons: 1) There are plenty of sites on the web that already provide that service; 2) I'm concentrating on classic films because I love them and there just isn't much written about many of them; and 3) I'm getting too old (in my 30s) to waste my dwindling years on movies I have a gut feeling will suck. I used to see 50-60 movies in the theater each year, but that number's dropped considerably since I found a life. Don't get me wrong, I still love movies, but they have to get at least 3 stars by other sources for me to even consider spending my time on them. A girl's gotta have her standards.

ALL ABOUT HORROR – By Laraine Newman

When my brother and I were 4 1/2 we were taken to see a movie called X-76 Bloodrust. I can't find a single living soul who has ever heard of this movie. Not even John Landis. What I gleaned about the plot, which was observed through a space between two fingers covering my eyes, was that this undulating creature (that looked like vomit) was created in a Sparkletts bottle, and if it touched you, you would die. It might have been the poorer cousin of The Blob. The denouement had this vomit creature trying to force its way out of a baggage hold in an airplane and the passengers freaking out. My brother slept with a nightlight for the next 11 years, his head wrapped tightly with the sheet and just the tip of his nose poking out so he could breathe, because we all know that monsters can't touch sheets or blankets.